Aliens do exist, and they love football

They are out there, watching. Literally
In what is a major vindication for alien cult followers and
fans of Stars Wars, one of the country’s leading dailies,
The Times of India (TOI), has come out with an endorsement
of what they have been claiming all along –that Aliens are
very much around. And what’s more, TOI goes a step
further by implying that extra-terrestrials go ga-ga
over the likes of Ronalo and Rondinho, bucktooth and all.

To show that they are truly moving with the ‘Times’,
the paper did an extensive coverage of the just concluded
football World Cup and even dedicated an editorial on it.
But they might have over-hyped it a wee bit.

First, to emphasise how important Wayne Rooney is,
the paper’s editorial on July 11th said that four red cards
were given in England’s game with Portugal, probably to
imply that sending off ‘Roo-nay’ was akin to
red-carding four England players.
Then came the more shocking revelation.
The world’s (purportedly) largest circulated English daily
goes on to say that 32 billion people watched the world cup.

Now considering there are around 6 billion people
in the world, it could be construed that the rest
of the 26 billion viewers must be from outer space—
maybe from faraway Andromeda galaxy,
or if Star Wars fans would have it-
planet Naboo or Tatooine, the home planet
of Jabba the Hutt (also rumored to be
the home of Michael Jackson).
Wherever it is, the TRP ratings must be pretty high up there.

Now considering that this is the editorial of a
respected (haha) newspaper, i suppose the facts can't
be disputed. MORE so because i haven't seen or heard
any single reader arguing about these startling 'facts'
with the paper through a letter or an e-mail.
In light of these information, a very important point emerges-
1. Football is indeed the most popular game in the
world..nay, the Universe (source-TOI).

But a few important questions remain-
1. Does anyone actually read editorials anymore? or are the
people who actually read them total idiots with no clue
as to what's happening around them (since there is no response
to the editorial)?

2. Who the hell monitors the TV ratings in outer space?