JOYRIDES AND LAST RITES ON DELHI ROADS.
(Part Two)

Concluding the joyride series, i'll reveal my favourite bunch of people among the lot who ferry us everyday - The Auto drivers, masters of the sacred art of manic driving.

These honorable men, like ancient secret organizations, live by a secret code, which says that none among them should succumb to the materialistic ways of the world by following transient, man-made laws like traffic rules or human psyche induced ‘morals’. They shamelessly fleece customers (Hey, they also have a family to feed, you know!), run every red light, and make faces at ‘no U-Turn’ signals.

Besides religiously following the “no-following-of-any-rules” mantra, they possess driving skills that would make Michael Schumacher cringe in shame. They can drive with one hand while the other is busy scratching some *&^%$#@ body part, and can squeeze in through the tiniest space between other vehicles. And when there is no space, they create one by inadvertently honking and swearing in abandon. (It has been scientifically proven that an excess of honking and swearing creates a ripple or wobble effect in the fabric of space breaking up the constituent matter particles creating extra space the size of an autorickshaw).

They screech and swerve through traffic with the speed and urgency of a guy running towards the bathroom after holding back a full bladder for four hours in a Seminar. I want to remind you that all this is in the interest of the passengers, whom the Auto driver wants to deliver at the designated place at the earliest- living, dead, or with one arm missing.

With such dedicated professionals at your service, I recommend everyone should travel in Buses or Autos instead of wasting fuel in private cars or wasting money on roller-coaster rides.
Only one advice, please perform your last rites before boarding them.